Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
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