You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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